A giant leap for mankind

There are moments that restore your faith in humanity and order to the universe.  Saturday held one such moment for me.  I have two sons playing soccer this fall.  They are on the same team.  One is the next Pele.  The other can barely spell "soccer".  He's a bright and talented kid, just not at sports.  He joined the team only after his brother threatened him with physical violence, and hubby and I goaded him into it.  We needed him to have any sort of exercise.  So the season has progress as expected.  Mini-Pele has had a blast and looks great.  He shoots, he scores, he plays goalie like a pro.  No-so-Pele examines dandelions on the sidelines, yawns on the pitch, and lopes along after the ball when the coach notices and yells his name.  However, if this little guy inadvertently gets near the guy with the ball he suddenly becomes the Tasmanian Devil.  He snarls and snags and defends the ball as if his life depended on it.  It is a thing to behold.  This has earned him the nickname Tenacious T.  But this only lasts for a second or two and when/if the opposing player gets by him, he suddenly settles down and goes back to watching the clouds sail by.  It's like watching Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, only without the London fog.  Well, somehow a marvelous coach noticed this spasmodic, tenacious defense and wondered if it couldn't work on offence too.  Hmmmm.  So during practice he worked with little T to see what could be done and what do you know...T made a goal.  I dismissed this event as an extreme random occurrence but congratulated him anyway.  Then a parent's worst nightmare: the team decided that in the next game no boy would score until T had.  (Okay not WORST nightmare but still pretty icky)  What were they thinking?  My kid is the one stopping to tie his shoelaces in the middle of the game in the middle of the action!  My kid is the one that actually turned is back to the game in order to watch the geese on a pond in an adjoining field!  How much pressure do they think one kid can handle, never mind one mom?!  But he was pumped.  We sat through a pretty grueling half where I yelled out "wake up buddy" more then once.  Not a nice thing to yell at your kid I realize, I just got too worked up.  T had not scored although he had actually made a shot on goal.  This was more than I really thought possible so I prayed that they would just take him out, call it good and let the real soccer start.  What if they lost the game because my kid couldn't score?  No pressure, right?  Talented kids had had the opportunity to score and had instead passed the ball to T-man. They were continually setting up chances for him to take a shot but it had not yet paid off.  I was nearly stroking out.  The second half started and darn it if they didn't send my T right back in.  So now I began to pray in earnest.  I mean really pray.  All of the parents of the boys on our team knew what was going on as well and they were cheering for our guy.  His team members on the field also coxed and cheered him on.  His coach was a pillar of confidence and encouragement.  I wondered what the parents of the opposing team thought when everyone was cheering for one little boy.  I guess we looked nuts.  His name was being shouted from up and down each sideline and one mom was chewing her nails down to the quick.  The other team got wise to what was happening and now little T was being guarded by three guys that were unsympathetic to the humanitarian mission we were all on.  It looked hopeless and I was working on what I would say to the other parents when we all met up after the game.  Suddenly without warning, Tenacious broke his defenders, grabbed the pass they had placed for him, kicked to the corner and really truly SCORED!!!!  I jumped from my chair and began to scream my lungs out.  The whole sideline erupted with cheers and our team went wild.  I didn't know any of this because I was still screaming my lungs out.  You need to know that we are in a league where if you do more than a brief handclap you are a zealot.  I became zealot, heretic, lunatic, and the-mom-everyone-hates all in one blow.  I couldn't have cared less.  This was a blow for teamwork.  And a blow for all the bookworms whose moms force them outside for some fresh air.  Now our team was free to unleash the hounds, our other sweet son scored (no surprise there) and we won 5-0.  I kept it down after that.

A tiny topic

So.  Charlotte is supposed to find moments in her day that she can record as "tiny topics".  These are little things that happen that she can possibly use from which to generate creative writing.  She has resisted all of my suggestions (no surprise there) and has agonized over things to add to her list.  Wouldn't add the "mom found a gross spider in her shoe" idea.  (She eventually did.)  And wouldn't add gymnastics, soccer games, piano lessons, girl scouts or any fun reading at home.  I have no idea what this kid is looking for.  But yesterday we were driving down the road.  I noticed too late that I had a dashboard indicator telling me that a door was ajar.  I was unable to pull over just then and Charlotte couldn't open/close the door when we got to the light because the child-lock was on.  We soldier on and I assume the door won't come open because it is mostly closed...right?  Wrong.  While sailing down a busy road, the sliding door of my mini-van flies open.  There is now a gigantic gapping hole in our van, seemingly ready to suck all occupants out onto the street.  I am in an intersection, I am screaming to Charlotte to stay seated but she crawls over and pulls the door shut (this girl never listens to me).  I can barely breathe my heart is pounding so fast and she announces that she now has a perfect "tiny topic"!  I can hardly wait to hear her teacher's reaction when she learns that one of her students had to risk life and limb to close a door on a moving vehicle.  Charlotte was SO proud of herself.  Charlotte is only seven but that experience aged me ten years.

Free at last

This week I released myself from a horrible burden.  This one weighed on my mind at least twice a week and caused me to pause, contemplate my acts, and worry and wonder if I had done the right thing.  After much hesitation and weeks (even years) of deliberation I have come to a decision.  I will wash hot pink with the darks and not the lights.  Laundry sorting has now become easier, a pleasure even.  This may have been an obvious choice to most but in the ocean of blue I live in, hot pink is an enigma and conundrum even.  Pretty much all girl things are to me now.  Take chores: four little boys nod and scurry to do whatever they are asked because too much complaining takes them away from the video game, book, basketball game etc. they were involved in when mom interrupted.  Not princess.  First the outright refusal. Then the denial, "It's not my job this week."  Followed by the negotiating and soon the tears and weirdness.  I don't get it.  I KNOW I wasn't this way...was I.  But while I wonder about that, there is at least one thing I no longer wonder about.  Her hot pinks are blissfully mixing somehow with the rest of the blue.

Having a 3-yr old

Somehow our 3-yr old thinks he can read.  (I guess many can - whoops.)  So during our family scripture study he takes a turn "reading".  Instead of allowing us to coach him on the actual words, he mumbles incoherently, throwing out real words every now and then.  It sounds a little like "garble garble garble LEHI garble garble garble LOVE."  He INSISTS on this and it is too early in the morning to fight this battle.  After a few seconds of this slight insanity we thank him and go on.  Yesterday we listened to his "reading" and a few moments into his recitation he suddenly came up with, "HAPPY HALLOWEEN MOSES."  Suddenly we were all fully awake and giggling.  (And maybe Moses appreciated the good wishes.)

You know you're old when....

So I was searching through a box of Halloween costumes to try and find something, anything, to put together a family group ensemble for the Ward Trunk or Treat.  We thought we would be the 4 Ninjago guys, Mike would be Sensei Wu, Charlotte as Nya and I would be Lord Garmadon.  After some thought we decided that that was cross-dressing for me and really too scary so I would be Lloyd's mother.  If you have to ask who any of those are then you probably should not try to understand - it's a Lego thing.  I found some reading glasses in the costume box and put then on my head thinking they may work for the costume.  I forgot they were there and later was typing at the computer and reading some bills.  I went to straighten my hair (okay...I went to scratch my haven't-been-washed-in-several-days scalp) and found the glasses.  For fun I put them on.  Suddenly my whole world got closer!  I could read the little small messages at the end of the papers and could see the date on my PC without squinting.  (Go Apple for already making the date big so grown-ups will buy their stuff too.)  I have either just made it through a rite of middle-age passage or have admitted something that most people would just as soon not talk about.  Whichever way, I am pretty sure these costume specks are going to move into my permanent wardrobe.

Wouldn't you know

I am still up to my eyeballs in housework, so where am I?  Slogging.  Sick I know.  BUT my van's battery is dead. Or was dead....or was jumped into life by my sweet hubby, so I took our entering middle school-er to his new school to decorate his locker (a fun custom - one they all take very seriously).  I dropped him off and drove around for a while to make sure the jumped battery was nice and charged.  However, knowing that it just may not start again I began to choose my parking place a the school very carefully so that we would be in the most advantageous place in the event I would need another jump.  While perusing the aisle, our 3yr-old suddenly insisted on a parking space completely hemmed in by other cars.  I began to drive by it and he screamed,"PARK HERE". So I did.  And what do you know, the car did not start again.  And what do you know, I had not brought my phone.  And what do you know, the schools WIFI does not allow for outgoing email so my attempts to alert hubby on my iPad were in vain.  However a nice school secretary and ever nicer computer lab lady let me tell my spouse that I was stuck.  But having already pulled my chestnuts out of the fire that day I told him I would try to find a good Samaritan.  I scanned the school for a likely hero and decided on the school shelf selling table.  (Lockers don't have shelves so they sell them to students - what a racket!  We inherited ours from a beloved ward member - hahaha system thwarted!)  I explained my situation to the burliest blood merchant and he generously followed me out to the parking lot.  Wouldn't you know, there was only ONE car in the vicinity of my van at it was his car!  However, it was a car and not a van, and we could not get my van started.  HOWEVER, he was able to move his car, (thus there were NO cars near mine) and wouldn't you know, the less burly guy at the shelf table had a Ford F150 and we were able to start my van and go home.  You know...I will be listening a little closer to the promptings of my 3yr-old.  Tender mercies can come in very small packages.

Funny Story

We were sitting around the house on a Friday evening discussing as a family what we should do that night.  "Family Movie Night" had worn a little thin and we were ready for something different.  I suggested the Art Museum (it's FREE).  Other suggestions included bowling, roller skating, ice skating, and the Art Museum again...that might have been me (it's FREE).  Then our helpful and very creative 10yr-old suggested, "Why don't we go fire walking."  We all stared at him in dumb silence.  Taking that as a clue to continue he began to walk gingerly across the floor explaining, "You know, when you walk across hot coals."  He high stepped across the kitchen and back.  We did not know what to say.  Where would you go for something like that?  Would they allow 10yr-olds?  Is it legal?  We thanked him for his suggestion and went to the Art Museum.  It was free and also the night of the screening of "Baby Jane" for the local LGBTQ community.  I think fire walking might have been more fun.